A Parent’s Pain
Dear Doctor,
How do I help my child when kids don’t want to play with her.
She is only six years old.
Hurting Mom
Dear Mom,
There is no pain quite like that we feel as parents at the perceived rejection of our children.
Begin by stepping away from the situation a bit and trying to understand it.
For example, are the children who would be available to play with your daughter ones you would welcome? How much time and contact with other children are you thinking is appropriate or enough?
What seem to be the specific problems in play situations? Are there specific social problems? Are you over-interpreting or overreacting?
Having done that, work on a plan. Do not lecture or speak to your daughter regarding any perceived shortcomings. Avoid saying things such as: "Other children will play with you when you stop…" Instead, be positive.
If you see negative social behavior on your daughter’s part, work through planning and encouragement, not pressure. Chances are most of the problem is in your own desire to have your daughter entirely happy.
Everyone knows that loving and interacting with others has its problems whether you are six or sixty. Then, set up some play times. If necessary, structure them with visits to special places or activities. Do not keep score.
"We invited her twice, and she has never had you over once." Many parents are clueless. Others knock themselves out. Most are unbelievably busy, and the social schedules of their children are actually down on the list.
Beyond this you will have to be there for your daughter as she solves the problem herself.
I predict she will do just that!
Tags: children, negative social behavior, rejection, rejection of our children
Leave a Comment