Being A Dad
Dear Doctor,
I am a new father, first child.
It was not something I knew I wanted to do, but I want to be a good dad to my new daughter. I wondered, and you would know me if I used my name, what thoughts you have about being a dad.
New at It
Dear New,
Being a father is somewhere between joy and terror. There is fear over the awesome responsibility and joy over the miraculous opportunity.
Being a Dad, not unlike so many things in life, is really a day to day collection of behaviors and memories which, woven together, create a tapestry of force and significance. All of what you will contribute as a father will come from your soul.
Perhaps I might best describe the importance and meaning of fatherhood by repeating a poem written by Sam Keen. His whole book, on being a man, is called Fire in the Belly. I recommend it to you. Here is the poem:
For My Father, J. Alvin Keen (1899-1964)
And how can I say why?
His life was anchored in he great simplicities of earth:
The touch of the little bodies of children,
The hue of polished stones,
The astringent sun and the antiseptic air of the desert,
The elegant geometry of shells and driftwood long bathed in the sea,
The perfume of early blooming lilacs,
The silent testimony of redwood trees,
The refreshment of all that is beautiful and graceful,
And yet there was the resonance of those elusive harmonies at which music hints and faith strives.
He lived with a growing ability to deepen the covenants of friendship,
To admire simplicity and dedication,
To accept limitations and disappointments without resentment,
To forgive the unacceptable and trust the unknown,
To love without grasping,
To be grateful for the gift of life.
In his ambiance I learned that it is a good thing to take time to wonder. Good luck to you, young friend, and every blessing.
Tags: being a dad, being a father, Fatherhood, fire in the belly, on being a man, poem for my father, sam keen
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