Not Two Years Old
Dear Doctor,
Lately I have noticed my two year old son has started to make repeated sexual movements on objects such as the floor or the bed.
I did not make a big issue out of it because I had heard it was normal.
Last night my son’s seven-year-old cousin spent the night, and he began screaming for me to come get my son off of him. When I went into the room I was shocked to find my son on top of his cousin making these movements and trying to kiss him on the mouth. I am not sure what I should do.
Shocked
Dear Shocked,
The behavior you describe tends to be somewhat atypial for a two-year-old.
Masturbation in younger children tends to be more common in a slightly older group, perhaps four or five years of age.
But that is not to say that some two-year-olds might discover the pleasure of self stimulation on their own. However, the interaction with your son’s cousin makes the issue more complex.
The behavior you describe in this instance is more likely to be a repetition of something seen or experienced. A bright child, which your son probably is, will acquire such behavior rapidly.
I do not wish to alarm you, but there are several questions which you should ask yourself. Has you son been exposed to videos or other similar material of a sexual nature? Has your son been with older children who are possibly more sophisticated?
Is there any chance he might have learned such behavior from another adult? Having addressed these questions might I suggest a consultation with a qualified professional. In the meantime calmly tell your son these behaviors are unwelcome.
Do not punish him. He is only doing what he has likely learned. Watch him with other children. Expect the behavior to reappear and your comments to be repeated.
Pleasurable behavior of a non verbal sort, especially in young children who are still preverbal, does not disappear rapidly.
Remember three words: calm, loving, and vigilant.
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