The Graduate
Dear Doctor,
I caught our fifteen-year-old son, who is on probation from the court system for underage drinking, stealing 18 cans of beer at a graduation party for our daughter.
What is reasonable punishment?
A Weary Dad
Dear Dad,
Your fifteen year old son has two problems, maybe three.
First, he seems to have a lively taste for alcohol, and this needs to be addressed.
Second, his judgment is more off than a clock in an abandoned belfry. The "maybe" part has to do with an excess of adventuresome, hormone drenched personality.
Your job as a father is that of a teacher so that, hopefully, someday he will be able to manage himself. The best lessons teens learn always make sense. Make the consequences fit the crime. For example, he would be required to attend, for at least three to four weeks, meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Your church or your doctor should have a book which details the meeting schedule. You might point out to your son that it takes a real man to admit he has a problem and to walk across the threshold of that meeting room.
He will not find it easy. Perhaps you should go with him and have a discussion afterwards. A second possible consequence might be to lose, for perhaps a week, some immediate privilege of trust.
This would be because he violated your trust. If he is especially resistant, the probation officer should be informed. A boy on probation could face some tough consequences. He should be reminded of that.
Bear in mind the court becomes the parent at that point, and their response could include removing him from your home and is out of your hands. The bigger issue here is your son’s need to accept controls and boundaries.
Today it is drinking. Tomorrow it could be something else. You as a father are not always with him. Your time with him is critical. If you feel he is out of control, seek professional help.
Your work is cut out for you!
Tags: teenage alcoholism, teenage drinking, teenage life lessons, teenagers and alcohol
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