Here We Go Again!
Dear Doctor,
Summer is a favorite time at our house because there is no school.
The oldest, a boy, is eleven years of age and will be going into the sixth grade. Every night during the school year we struggle with homework.
It takes him much more time to do it than it should. He has cried. We yell.
The whole house is in an uproar. We dread the start of school. Any advice?
Homework Weary
Dear Weary,
You are not as rare an individual as you might think.
The schools, pressured by the MCAS follies and the competitive needs of communities to win, have increasingly pressured youngsters regarding homework.
Your son, however, does not sound as burdened as he is disorganized, probably resistant. You have been put in the role of "homework police," a role you should try to begin to avoid.
First, find out what is wrong. Does your son need the material presented differently? Is he so disorganized that he cannot remember what to do? Are there learning disabilities unrecognized by the school?
Dr. Mel Levine’s book "The Myth of Laziness" is one of my favorites. Read it, and I am certain your son will appear on its pages.
Second, develop a plan based upon a sound diagnosis. Enlist your son in the plan. It may be that a certain amount of time is set aside each night, and, when it has passed, whatever is accomplished will be accepted.
It may be the contingencies, i.e., rewards, etc., come from incomplete assignments. Enlist the school in your effort. Space, time, and encouragement are best. Third, improve your own attitude and behavior.
Screaming never helps. Threats don’t work. A plan usually works best. Think before you become enraged.
Your son needs to remember a loving parent and not someone with carotid arteries bulging!
Tags: homework police, homework trouble, myth of laziness, trouble with homework
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