Tantrum Troubles
Dear Doctor,
A trip to the mall can be something out of a horror movie.
I am a young Mom with twin boys. They are great except when we go into a store and they want something.
One will start it and then they both scream and yell. I have had to leave with them after being embarrassed to death.
Do you have any advice on how to tame a tantrum in a child?
Double Trouble
Dear Double,
The only unique thing about your situation is the increasing of conflict by two! The story is an old one.
Child wants something. Child is told "no." Child doesn’t like that, is entitled, increases the noise until parents either give in or go berserk, whichever comes first.
We have all been there, and it is a major parental task to make certain this behavior does not continue into adult life! In some individuals it definitely does. Here are a few suggestions. Pre-teach. Make certain the cherubs know the purpose and mission of the shopping trip.
Warn that if demanding behavior starts, the trip will be terminated. Make certain you stress that no purchases for toys, snacks, etc., will be made. Act soon. When the first minor tremor occurs, take action right away. Do not wait for an eruption.
"I see we are not ready to….." Then exit quickly before a full chorus of rage hits the airways. Have a plan. This might include returning to the car until the storm passes. Think it through while you have your wits about you. Review.
"Can you tell me why we had to leave toy heaven?" Do not sermonize and vent, just review the clear rules and responses. Always close with hope.
"Next time we come to Toy Heaven we will…." If you need space and time for leisurely shopping, taking children is a bad idea. Leave them at Granny’s.
There they will get anything they want! No tantrum necessary.
Tags: public tantrums, tantrums, tantrums at the store, trouble tantrums at the store
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