Grandpa is Coming
Dear Doctor,
My father is alone since my mother died a few years ago. We have asked him to come live with us. We have made a special area in our house just for him. He is the kind of man who can get along with anyone, but we are concerned about our children and how he will deal with them.
They are eight and six years old, have lots of energy, and will probably be wanting his attention. Do you have any advice for parents facing this kind of problem?
Dutiful Daughter
Dear Dutiful,
There are as many kinds of things to think about as there are Grandpas! Your father sounds like the sort of man who will enjoy telling stories and introducing children to new adventures— fishing, walking in the woods, sharing a story or book, cooking, or teaching an old song.
He will also need some time to himself, and he should have the right to shut his door without fearing intrusion or disruption. He is older, and senior folk do need to knit up the "sleeve of care" a bit more than the young ones. Therefore, the problem is not his; it is yours. Your children will have to learn limits and respect the needs of an older but caring gent.
That is something you will have to teach them. Your task will also be one of telling father he has the right and obligation to set limits as well. Although discipline should be in your hands, he should feel free to say when he has had enough or is simply not available.
Open that door of communication for him. Ask him often how he feels. Father should be respected as a human being and not seen as a warm jungle gym or a live in baby sitter. Your home sounds like a warm and welcoming place. Your love for your father is heartwarming.
Go into the whole thing with your eyes open and your mind in gear. Blessings.
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